damn you

seriously

i miss my long hair very much

seriously

i miss wearing sexy dresses

AND WHAT THE FUCK

I REALLY HATE MYSELF NOW

why i need to have a big damn ugly scar at my back

why i need to have a scar on my face

and why i need to drop so much of hair

and why even i have to cut the hair although i'm not willing to

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

forgive bout my fake

yeah, i did say i forgive you

yeah, i did say never mind

yeah, i did say it's okay

yeah, i did say don't feel guilty

yeah, i did say everything will be okay

but now i'm the one who feel regret

regret that i forgive you so easily 

every time when i saw my scar

seriously feel like wanna cry

freaking emo

every time when saw my hair

seriously disapointed 

what the hack happened to my hair

 what the hack happened to my dandruff

what the hack happened to my head

PAIN PAIN PAIN

sorry to be negative

but really feel so unfair

every time when i saw charlene or even baby boy's scar

seriously i feel like killing him

because of your "carefulness"

make us so damn happy right now

seriously wanna say FUCK YOU

keep in silent doesn't mean really do forgive

keep on smiling doesn't mean really forget everything

keep up hiding is just wanna trying to forgive and trying to forget

can't even wear nice shirt when hot weather

can't even pin up my hair when hang out

can't even take photo with my long hair

i know it's fact right now

but i really do hope time can past back

so that no one of us will feel suffer

so that no one of us will get to know you

please god

make charlene recover soon

make me and baby boy's scar disappear soon