december 6---challenges

it's been long time i never update my blog

out of time

can i have more time?

 recently keep busy studying 

finally spm still got 4 subjects only

hope it will over soon

i'm freaking tired

at first i thought it will be very best after finish spm

but when it finally going to over soon

i feel like don't want spm stop so fast

i don't know what the feeling of form 5 students

but recently im really headache

bout my future

not because my result bad

i got confident on my result

but i don't know how to explain the feeling

many things to worry

and dad n mum keep talk to me bout my future study

im confuse to be 18

can i back to childhood?

i miss it

after spm then christmas coming

2010 christmas will celebrate with buddies at genting

3 days two nights

i thought i will very happy bout that

but i don't

maybe is because a lot of stuff i haven settle

i still remember that my 2009 christmas wish 

i wish to have a bf this year christmas

opps end ups i don't have bf to acc me this christmas

but all my girl friends do have their bf acc them this christmas

how jealous am i

LOL

what to do

i have to accept the fact that no people want me

im single on 2010 chirstmas

wooohoooo i have to proud of that

i think im crazy

whatever

after the chritsmas n graduated trip

im going to interview job with my dear ceci

when i told my friends n cousin im going to interview

they was like "von,are you okay?you sure you need to work?"

i don't understand why they will think like that

im also a ordinary girl 

im not special at all

i also need a part time job

but honestly im freaking worry n nervous

it's my first time work

i just keep told myself

i can do it i can do it

that's what i can do for myself

after discuss with dad n mum

they allowed me to interview

finally i get their permission

i know it will be a very big challenge for me

but please trust me

i can do it n i will prove it to all of them

which college is better

im freaking headache bout this

and i don't know which course really do suitable me

what the hack

im gonna cry

the reason i wanna work

i want to save money

for my laptop

for my license fees

n some of my college fees

they ask me isn't your dad will settle all that for you

i mean are you crazy?

im already 18 next year

im not a small child anymore

i have the responsibility to pay all that

you think your dad pay everything for you should be proud?

hello shame on you

how old are you now

of course my dad don't let me work at the first time

but after i explain all that

he understand me well n let me go have a try

he just say

"girl,actually you no need to work,daddy already plan all for you.

but if you wanna have a try,i will let you go"

thanks to my dad

i love him

he always make me feel warm

for my laptop n money

i will fight for it

i will do my best

sometimes i ask myself

why the world so unfair

i sacrifice so much

but i didn't get anything

i know is not good to think like that

but im really tired to be a good girl

i just need someone who really do understand me well

n just give me some courage when im freaking down

that's all

LMAO

but im lucky to have a great dad n mum

they do understand me well

im the lucky one

thanks to my parents

im not that pretty

i know

im not that sweet

i know

im not that lucky

i know

but what i really know is

i got everything i want

that's enough

i don't have a rich family 

i don't have a big banglo

i don't have a pretty face

i don't have expensive stuff

but

i have a warm family

i have a small warm house

i have a fat cute face

i have all stuff that i want

n im here to say

i will not repeat anymore

im not going to move my house so soon

but i will move after this

but not sure when

don't ask me why

cause of some problem

so need to postpone 

:)